I’m working on making a pretty new blog with my own domain. This is why there have been no new blogs in a bit. It’ll take a week or so, so I may still blog here in that time. I’ll update everyone once my blog is ready to go live!
Last Thursday was a day I had dreaded for 12 weeks. Somehow it arrived entirely too fast. First off, how the heck did my baby get to be 12 weeks? Is there someone I can talk to about slowing time down? Get back to me on that one, ok? Well, the day showed up and there was no turning back. It felt like the first day at school, and for Bronwyn, it really kind of was like that. For me, I was returning to my old life.
I won’t talk about the details of my job on this blog other than this. I work in an office. I have clients, and I have coworkers. Some of each I like, others I don’t. I enjoy my job and feel respected by superiors, so that’s all gravy. That is all I have to say on that matter.
Luckily, since as I said, I have awesome superiors they have worked with me about my schedule. I have a little bit of a commute to work each day, and daycare providers always have very set hours, so if I were to continue as I had, I’d go over that everyday. I shortened my lunch, and start a little earlier. One of the downsides to this is I can no longer commute with my husband. We’ve always carpooled. Until a year ago we even shared a car. Part of the drive even has a nifty carpool lane allowing you to bypass and laugh at all those people by themselves. Now I’m the one being laughed at. We both work in the “city.” I use city lightly. It’s more like a big town with a few skyscraperish buildings, but nonetheless, we both work downtown, it’s silly to drive separately, however his schedule is a little more non-negotiable. He’s salary. He’s at work 9 hours. If he “takes a short lunch” (which he works through most of the time anyway) it just makes his day shorter, and less time to get things done. So, we are now enlarging our carbon footprint. On the plus side, we really don’t have too large of one otherwise. Find out yours here.
Wow, I’m getting off track. Ok, so Thursday. I had been dreading it because Bronwyn does NOT like to take bottles. Also, most of her naps are facilitated by the wonderboobs. My baby is not one of those you can put down “drowsy, but awake.” You wanna know what she does when you do that? Lays there, and eventually starts crying. I’m one of those “wacky” types who picks up her baby when she cries. So, I was understandably nervous that my child would not eat or sleep, and I’d have a monster on my hands when she came home. Also, I was convinced she’d just scream and cry the whole day, because she was hungry and tired, and that the daycare provider we had found would suggest finding alternate arrangements. I kept trying to tell myself it would be ok, but those thoughts kept creeping right back.
Apparently I had no reason to be concerned. While Bronwyn still doesn’t LOVE the bottle, she eats. Sometimes she’ll go 5 hours before submitting to it, but she just gulps it down then. Also, she seems happy with where we’ve left her. There are other kids there who already seem to love being around her, although I’m sure much of that is the novelty of seeing a new little person. She even goes to sleep when she’s tired. All of my worries were for naught. It hasn’t yet been a week, and the two days last week were shorter days, however now I’m hopeful that it will be ok. The part that I don’t like, well other than the obvious, is that I pick her up by 5, her bedtime is about 7:30-8pm. Other than the little bit in the morning, and the overnight feedings, I’m only spending 2.5-3 hours with her a day. That is HARD. I went from her being attached to me 24 hours a day to this.
We’re still working out the routine. It involves a much later dinner time than we are used to. Steven and I used to eat directly after work, now we have a snack and cook dinner after B has gone to bed. I also have to shower at night in the guest bathroom, since she’s sleeping in our room still. We need to WD-40 the hinges on her nursery door before we can start that transition. On the plus side, now that there is a bit more routine, Steven and I get some adult time together. It’s still hard though, most of the time I’m spending with my baby, she’s asleep in the other room.
I have to give credit to another blogger for helping me figure out how the work day might go, and it has definitely eased the transition. Blair from Heir to Blair had a couple of posts on her return to work. They were super helpful. While our situations are vastly different, we have one big thing in common. We are both WOHM’s. So I have to thank her, even though she probably has no clue who I am. So thank you, Blair.
…in which I ramble about getting out of the house with a baby.
So here goes nothing. I’m not wearing any makeup. Of course I look like I have a double chin, but whatever. At least my hair looks good! Here goes nothing…
Two posts in one day, I might have a heart attack from all the excitement.
I received my Ergo carrier today. I had been wanting one, but had spent my fair share of money on various baby wearing items, so I had been planning on waiting a little while longer before getting one. Then one day all over Twitter were links to BabySteals.com. They were having a sale. I couldn’t resist. I called Steven at work and he reluctantly agreed that it was a good time to get it since it was so cheap. It came today and Bronwyn loved it! She fell asleep within minutes of putting it on. Here’s a pic. Don’t mind the scary. I’m in PJ’s, and I haven’t exactly brushed my hair very well….
This now brings my babywearing items to an Ergo, a Serene Sling (most used so far), a Moby wrap, and a Bjorn (which I don’t use, but Steven will). I also have two other slings, one pocket and one ring, that were hand me downs, but I haven’t really liked either one so far. I think the ring sling rings are too heavy and bulky and I just can’t get it on well.
I think I’m officially addicted.
I am excited. On Friday I bought plane tickets to San Diego. I’m from there, but haven’t lived there in almost 11 years, yikes when did that happen? My parental units still live there, and my sister too, and I figured Bronwyn will only be a baby once, so let’s go visit them! They came up after she was born, but she was in that really boring, floppy headed, sleep all day phase. She has PERSONALITY! now and I’d like them to be able to see that.
It’ll be my first trip on a plane with a baby, and please God, don’t let me be that WOMAN WITH A BABY THAT CRIES SO LOUD person. I’m hoping that the relatively short flight will knock her out and people will say the same thing as they did when we took her to a nice restaurant (if you live in the Sacramento area check out Hawks, it’s yummies): “I didn’t even know there was a baby back there.”
We’re going before I have to go back to work. Which is only in 2.5 weeks. Eeek. How I’m going to leave this little smiling goof is beyond me, but I just keep telling myself it’s for her own good, ie we’ll have enough money to give her the things she needs and wants. Or maybe I can just win the lottery instead. Oh wait, I’d have to actually play the lotto for that too happen. At least the hubs, B, and I will have one nice trip together before that happens, because who the heck knows the next time that will happen. Steven and I normally love to travel locally, to SF, Monterey, Tahoe, Napa, etc, but most of those trips contain adult “entertainment.” I’m talking about wine, restaurants, and shows, where the heck is your mind? On this trip I may get to go the operea with my mom, totally excited about that. It’ll be La Traviata. Unless B is having an off day, then I’ll stay in and my dad will go. Which gives me a 95% chance of not going, because Bronwyn tends to have a radar about these sorts of things. I don’t want a repeat of my last post.
Sorry the proceeding paragraph was an endless ramble. This is me folks!
Last weekend was an “adventure” I care not to repeat. A friend was coming in from out of town and with that came a girl’s night. I wasn’t sure if I was going to bring B or not, but I decided that if I could pump enough milk for her to be ok, I would leave her home with my husband. One other time I have left her alone with him, and they did great! B loves her daddy, and he can’t get enough of her. The prior time was just a trip to the grocery store, I was gone about an hour and half and everything went perfectly. This time, not so much.
I had plenty of milk stored up for the night, about 6oz, which is more than enough for the couple of hours I was going to be gone. However I really should have cued into my motherly instincts when B was having a fussy day, and either canceled my plans, or brought her along. We were just going to dinner, so it wasn’t like I would have brought her to a bar or anything. Steven insisted they would be fine, and that he wanted me to get out on my own, because save that hour I had at the grocery store, I’ve been attached to B since she’s existed. Well, this time it didn’t go so smoothly. She just was in a mood. I still don’t know why, but she just wanted her Mama. I felt awful, worse yet, Steven said he felt like a failure. This broke my heart. She cried almost the entire time. I got a panicked call after I had been gone for two hours. Just as I hurried things at the restaurant so I could get home (ie get my bill paid), he texted saying she calmed down, so I slowed things down. It only lasted a little while, and we were wrapping things up anyway, so I hurried home. I was gone three hours in total. She was quiet when I walked in the door, but only if Steven was walking around. He was drenched in sweat. She ate the bottle I left, however, she wasn’t really into it according to Steven, and otherwise all she did was cry.
This makes me really nervous for the fact that I’m going back to work in just over five weeks. I really hope it was just a case of her not feeling well, because what will I do if she just screams whenever I’m not around?
Dinner was great, with a great group of women, but it is difficult to think of having fun when I know my baby was having a hard time. I guess any girls nights in the near future will have to include Little Miss B.
On a side note: I think B knows when I pump, she hates it. After I pump, for the whole day, even when I know things are back to full supply she is a super fussy eater. If anyone has had any experience with this, please let me know. I have to pump so I have enough milk when I go back to work. She also seems to wake up right after I finish, even though I try and do it right after I put her down for a nap. It always seems that she has short naps when I pump, but if I don’t, she’ll sleep for a few hours.
This blog was created months ago, but I only now sit down to actually write something. I have been taking in all there is to being a new mom. My brain is so full of things I want to share, but often I have no idea where to begin. More often than not, that causes me to do nothing. I think it’s because there are so many blogs out there, written by writers who have a way with words. I’ve never claimed to be a writer, and I still am not, I find what I write tends to be “clunky”. Well, whether or not it’s clunky, I owe it to myself and I owe it to Bronwyn (my beautiful baby girl) to attempt to chronicle her firsts in life to the best of my ability. Oh and she is beautiful, and I while I’m biased, the pictures prove it.
This post is an attempt to get me out of my writer’s block, although I don’t think I can really call it that since I hadn’t written anything.
Bronwyn and I are really enjoying the time we have been spending together and cannot believe 6 weeks have gone by already. The pic above is from when she was 1 month old, before we were getting regular smiles. Oh the smiles. They are the most wonderful things. They break my heart into a million pieces and then pick all those pieces up and create a bigger heart inside my chest. That’s the only way I can accurately describe them.
Ok, that’s enough with the cheesy prose, but see I just can’t help myself.
By the way to get that adorable flower in the first picture, please visit Amy at www.flowerzinhair.com.